Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Not that you asked but....
Today is going to be a mushy post. Sorry if you don't want to hear about it, skip over this entry. I doubt anyone really reads these anyway. I just wanted to write about my favorite person, my husband. Aaron and I met just as my first semester of college was ending. I was 18 and he was 21. We did not meet in a particularly glamorous way, we were both drunk at a party. I was young and a bit wild at the time and he was perfect (or so I thought). My first thought upon seeing him was "Damn, it's a shame I'll probably never see him again. He is cute!" I fell in love with him almost right away. To make a long story short our relationship for the first year and a half or so was very rocky. We went through a few breakups and hard times but we got through them. I stayed persistent and even though he wasn't ready yet I stuck with him through it all. It paid off. After he made his biggest mistake and I thought we had broken up for good he pulled it together and won me back. We have been together for over 5 years now and married for almost a year and a half. Aaron has been the best husband ever. I secretly wonder if he still feels guilty for some of the things that went on between us and is forever trying to make up for it. I had always scoffed at people that said "Find some one that treats you like a princess." I thought 'yeah right, like that is realistic'. But Aaron does. He makes me feel like the center of his universe and he feels like the center of mine. He is so good to me I often feel like it is more then I deserve. He would move mountains just to make me happy. In fact I think that everything he does, he does it to make me happy. I am happy. He makes me very happy. Not a day goes by that he doesn't make me smile and laugh. I never thought marriage was supposed to be easy. In fact everyone always tells you it's really hard and it takes a lot of work to stay together. Well perhaps we got all of the hard stuff out of the way while we were dating because to be honest my marriage is easy. We get into fights but its so painful for both of us to be mad at one another that we give it up after a short period of time. The time we have been married has been the happiest time in my life. The only thing that makes either of us unhappy is not being able to spend more time together. Maybe it all has something to do with how we are. Aaron and I have some similarities but we have an even balance of things that are very different about us. I am pretty negative, sometimes a bit up tight, aggressive, and am very grounded. I like to think I always take a realistic view on things. Aaron, however, is always positive, bubbly, laid back, happy go lucky if you will. He is slightly whimsical and a little less realistic. These differences in traits allow us to get along very well. What also makes our marriage easy is that we are best friends. It's true. We tell each other everything and we never run out of things to talk and laugh about. Then there is the love. We are truly and unconditionally in love. I was at work and Aaron was there doing clinical for his class. We met up in the hallway just to get a chance to see one another. My co-workers were around. We got to see each other for a few short minutes and and then he had to go. After he left my co-workers tell me how it sickens them the way we look at each other. I was a bit confused. I asked what they meant. They said we looked all "googly" eyed at one another. They said they have never seen two people look at one another with such love. It was odd cause neither of us really notice. We still give each other butterflies, even though its not all the time, they are still there and fly around from time to time. There is so much more I could express about him but there isn't enough space to tell you everything that I find wonderful about him. So I guess you are probably wondering why I am telling (what few people might actually read this) you this. I have so many friends that are single or waste their time on "waste of space" guys. I want to say, there is no "one" person out there for you. There are people willing to make you happy everyday. There are no soul mates. There are guys that you can be best friends with and your personalities will compliment one another. There are guys out there that will love you just for who you are. Please don't settle for anything less. There are guys out there that will really and truly treat you like a princess and I am so lucky that I found mine. Aaron and I are perfect together. I love him more then words can express. My marriage is easy and fun. And I truly believe that everyone can find their "Aaron". So just know that they are out there and I am so lucky to have found mine. My best friend. My love. My life. My Aaron.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
With Love from Me to You
I am one of those people. You know the type. I am a wonderful friend but mess up once and I am done. Something about my personality begs people to use and abuse me. I used to let the anger and hate consume me. I would hang on to my hurt feelings. Yesterday I turned over a new leaf. I am going to forgive. I may never be friends with some of the people that I have broken ties with but I am going to forgive them. I am going to move on with my life and not let it bother me anymore. Don't get me wrong, most of these people have truly done some heinous things to me, but I am making a choice to get over it. I realized that most of these people I have been harboring anger towards, number one don't care, and number two have let it go and don't let it bother them anymore. I was the only one hurt about it in the first place and I was the only one hanging on to it and still thinking about it. So now I feel better. I think this is a positive step. I want to share my big heart with everyone. On the outside chance that any of those people that think they might fall into the category of people I was previously writing about read this: Let's get back in touch. Lets put the past behind us and move on. I have lost too many friends (some over dumb stuff, others over really sh!tty hurtful things). If you are one of the select few that I will not forgive, you will figure it out if you try to contact me. Others I would love to catch up with. I am hoping that everything bad evens out with good eventually. So far I have overcome huge hurtles in my life and have suffered through betrayals and being treated horrible by "friends". But look at my life. The worst part about it is my job and the fact that I never feel like I have enough time with my wonderful husband. I am 23 and I have everything I ever wanted in my life. Not many people can say that. So to everyone reading. I send you my love. To those who want to become friends (for the first time or again) please call, message, or whatever. I hope this reaches a few people (maybe people on my old sh!t list). I am moving forward. Come with me.
Monday, September 14, 2009
A day in the life of a nurse
In my younger years I had no idea what nursing entailed. In fact I believe most people don't have any idea what nurses"do". I'm going to give you guys an education. Nurses are glorified punching bags. Here is my typical day at work:
I go to bed the night before anxious and upset about the upcoming day at work. I worry about how hard it is going to be. Am I going to F up? Am I going to get yelled at by a patient or management? Will I even get time for lunch in my 12 hour day? I toss and turn most of the night in an uneasy light sleep. I wake up several times to roll over, look at the clock, and realize it's 3am. At 6am I get up to my alarm and get out of bed. As a newly wed I leave my sleeping husband, every weekend morning, and get ready for work. At 6:30 I am out the door. I arrive on the floor around 6:45 and get my patient assignment. Anxiety peaks just before listening to the taped report on the patients from the prior shift. I am in report for about 15-20 min where I am told about every need the patient has. Typically I have 5 patients. Typically I have very little help with those five people (I can not count on anybody else to do their job i.e. pharmacy, techs, or doctors. Ultimately it is all my responsibility). They are sick/hurt (sometimes), they are helpless, and I am their only help for the day. I could deal with this if people understood that I am one person and if five people need things all at one time what am I supposed to do? I could also deal with it if people didn't treat me like their personal slave. I am used and abused, usually by people that are unappreciative, capable of doing things themselves, and like to abuse me. I run medications and take care of their every need for the first hour or so of my shift. Then I must chart everything I have done and assessed for the morning. By this time it is 9. I then go check the charts of my patients (all 5 of them) and I typically have several orders to take off for each person. An order is a doctors written request (that's putting it mildly) for things that they want completed on patients for the day. Sometimes there are now orders that you only have 1 hour to complete (you do the math if all 5 have now orders and each order takes up to 15 minutes to complete). Sometimes there are stat orders which basically means "drop what you are doing and get this done now!" By the time I have completed the more urgent tasks in the orders it is 10. 10am is dressing change time (now keep in mind that throughout all of this each patient has a call button that they hit when they need something, and we are constantly timed on how long it takes us to answer the call. Patients often abuse this luxury and call us back constantly). I have at least a couple of my patients that require wound dressing changes. These usually don't take too long but I have had some that consume 45 min (multiply that by two or three). Some patients can't use the bathroom by themselves or move by themselves. So you are getting periodic calls throughout the day to help them to the bathroom, or put them on the bedpan, or refill their water, or help them get cleaned up, or order their food for them, or bring them a snack or drink, or answer their questions, to help them move, to scratch their back, to clean up some mess, to give them pain or nausea medicine, or fulfill their every desire (I have been called in to massage their feet!). If you aren't fast enough or forget anything they complain. If they complain management takes it all out on you. I then try to find time to chart everything that has been done. By that time it is noon and it is again time to pass out medications. This takes another hour. Then I recheck my charts. Usually a couple patients have further orders. Typically I have a few people to discharge. If this happens I will get an admission to take. I will not even get into the amount of time, effort, and charting that goes into either of these things because I already feel like I am boggling some peoples minds. I want you to also remember that throughout the entire day these patients push their call button for any and everything they need (5 people). It is something you have to attend to in a timely fashion while trying to accomplish every other task you must do. At some point I try to take my only break of my 12 hour day...my lunch break. It should be 30 min long but never is. While I take a lunch I am expected to answer my patients calls. The odds of none of my patients calling for 30 min is almost zero, which is why I don't ever get to complete my lunch break. I then check charts again. Their may or may not be further orders that I must carry out. This is when I play catch up on any tasks that I didn't get completed in the morning hours. Typically this is the only time I get to chart some of the thing that have happened through out the day. (Now I want you all to remember that I am leaving out what a discharge/admission does to your day, what a patient calling for pain medicine every hour, what a patient that has emotional needs, what a patient that has constant diarrhea, what a patient that is incontinent, what a patient that verbally abuses you, what a patient hit their call button every 15 min. what a patient on tube feedings, what a patient with a tracheostomy, what a patient on spinal precuations, what a patient that is 700 pounds does to your day. The list goes on and on these are just a few examples of what can really ruin your day). By 5 there are more medications to pass. This usually takes a bit longer because for some reason the sh!t hits the fan between 5 and 7. At 6 I try to tape report for the oncoming shift. At 6:30 I do my computer chart checks. At 7 I update oncoming nurses on their patients. Hopefully at 7:30 I can clock out and leave. I leave my 12 and 1/2 hour day (with or without a lunch break) exhausted and hungry. My feet and body ache. I go home, eat, and go to bed so I can get up and do it again the next day.
This is just a tiny glimpse of what a nurse does each day. It barely scratches the surface really. This is just to get the ball rolling on what is wrong with the nursing profession. This is just a prelude to spark understanding in my non nurse readers. This is to help you understand some of my future posts about nursing. If this has educated you, remember this. Know that this is nursing! It is one of the hardest and thankless jobs in the world. There are so many misconceptions that we are amply paid for our work. Think to yourself, how much you would want to get paid to be that busy, work that hard, wipe asses, deal with the most vile things, clean vomit, be unappreciated, be abused, ect. for 12 hours with no break?
This is me signing off as
The Disgruntled Servant
Happily Ever After
I go to bed the night before anxious and upset about the upcoming day at work. I worry about how hard it is going to be. Am I going to F up? Am I going to get yelled at by a patient or management? Will I even get time for lunch in my 12 hour day? I toss and turn most of the night in an uneasy light sleep. I wake up several times to roll over, look at the clock, and realize it's 3am. At 6am I get up to my alarm and get out of bed. As a newly wed I leave my sleeping husband, every weekend morning, and get ready for work. At 6:30 I am out the door. I arrive on the floor around 6:45 and get my patient assignment. Anxiety peaks just before listening to the taped report on the patients from the prior shift. I am in report for about 15-20 min where I am told about every need the patient has. Typically I have 5 patients. Typically I have very little help with those five people (I can not count on anybody else to do their job i.e. pharmacy, techs, or doctors. Ultimately it is all my responsibility). They are sick/hurt (sometimes), they are helpless, and I am their only help for the day. I could deal with this if people understood that I am one person and if five people need things all at one time what am I supposed to do? I could also deal with it if people didn't treat me like their personal slave. I am used and abused, usually by people that are unappreciative, capable of doing things themselves, and like to abuse me. I run medications and take care of their every need for the first hour or so of my shift. Then I must chart everything I have done and assessed for the morning. By this time it is 9. I then go check the charts of my patients (all 5 of them) and I typically have several orders to take off for each person. An order is a doctors written request (that's putting it mildly) for things that they want completed on patients for the day. Sometimes there are now orders that you only have 1 hour to complete (you do the math if all 5 have now orders and each order takes up to 15 minutes to complete). Sometimes there are stat orders which basically means "drop what you are doing and get this done now!" By the time I have completed the more urgent tasks in the orders it is 10. 10am is dressing change time (now keep in mind that throughout all of this each patient has a call button that they hit when they need something, and we are constantly timed on how long it takes us to answer the call. Patients often abuse this luxury and call us back constantly). I have at least a couple of my patients that require wound dressing changes. These usually don't take too long but I have had some that consume 45 min (multiply that by two or three). Some patients can't use the bathroom by themselves or move by themselves. So you are getting periodic calls throughout the day to help them to the bathroom, or put them on the bedpan, or refill their water, or help them get cleaned up, or order their food for them, or bring them a snack or drink, or answer their questions, to help them move, to scratch their back, to clean up some mess, to give them pain or nausea medicine, or fulfill their every desire (I have been called in to massage their feet!). If you aren't fast enough or forget anything they complain. If they complain management takes it all out on you. I then try to find time to chart everything that has been done. By that time it is noon and it is again time to pass out medications. This takes another hour. Then I recheck my charts. Usually a couple patients have further orders. Typically I have a few people to discharge. If this happens I will get an admission to take. I will not even get into the amount of time, effort, and charting that goes into either of these things because I already feel like I am boggling some peoples minds. I want you to also remember that throughout the entire day these patients push their call button for any and everything they need (5 people). It is something you have to attend to in a timely fashion while trying to accomplish every other task you must do. At some point I try to take my only break of my 12 hour day...my lunch break. It should be 30 min long but never is. While I take a lunch I am expected to answer my patients calls. The odds of none of my patients calling for 30 min is almost zero, which is why I don't ever get to complete my lunch break. I then check charts again. Their may or may not be further orders that I must carry out. This is when I play catch up on any tasks that I didn't get completed in the morning hours. Typically this is the only time I get to chart some of the thing that have happened through out the day. (Now I want you all to remember that I am leaving out what a discharge/admission does to your day, what a patient calling for pain medicine every hour, what a patient that has emotional needs, what a patient that has constant diarrhea, what a patient that is incontinent, what a patient that verbally abuses you, what a patient hit their call button every 15 min. what a patient on tube feedings, what a patient with a tracheostomy, what a patient on spinal precuations, what a patient that is 700 pounds does to your day. The list goes on and on these are just a few examples of what can really ruin your day). By 5 there are more medications to pass. This usually takes a bit longer because for some reason the sh!t hits the fan between 5 and 7. At 6 I try to tape report for the oncoming shift. At 6:30 I do my computer chart checks. At 7 I update oncoming nurses on their patients. Hopefully at 7:30 I can clock out and leave. I leave my 12 and 1/2 hour day (with or without a lunch break) exhausted and hungry. My feet and body ache. I go home, eat, and go to bed so I can get up and do it again the next day.
This is just a tiny glimpse of what a nurse does each day. It barely scratches the surface really. This is just to get the ball rolling on what is wrong with the nursing profession. This is just a prelude to spark understanding in my non nurse readers. This is to help you understand some of my future posts about nursing. If this has educated you, remember this. Know that this is nursing! It is one of the hardest and thankless jobs in the world. There are so many misconceptions that we are amply paid for our work. Think to yourself, how much you would want to get paid to be that busy, work that hard, wipe asses, deal with the most vile things, clean vomit, be unappreciated, be abused, ect. for 12 hours with no break?
This is me signing off as
The Disgruntled Servant
Happily Ever After
Sunday, September 13, 2009
My life so far...
So I am new to the whole blogging thing. I guess I really don't care if anyone follows what I write it would just be nice to have a place to get it all out. Lets see, I guess if anyone does follow this I should introduce myself. I am 23. I am happily married to a wonderful man. I am a nurse at a large nearby hospital. I am born, raised, and living in my home town in Missouri. I am strong. I am opinionated. I am always going to stand up for what is right. I am an animal lover. I am what I am.
One thing that I will probably write about a lot will be the "joys" of nursing. It is a huge part of my life. It is also what I think people will find most interesting. I tell people that no one knows what it is to be a nurse until they are one. I also say that if someone had told me what it would be like I would have run the other way and never spent 4years of my life getting my bachelors degree in nursing. When I say happily ever after I am being 100% serious and 100% sarcastic. I love my life outside of work. I am completely happy. However as most nurses know there is no such thing as happiness in your job. You may think that sounds cynical but until you have been there...
In my spare time I try to help out the Mid America Boston Terrier Rescue. I am highly passionate about the breed and I need something to make me feel like I am helping out. You may think that I should get that from my nursing career but needless to say I do not. I am wild about my two little Bostons at home. Guinness and Stella are my little clowns. I am sure I will post several times about them as well.
I love my family. My parents are amazing. My sister is a rising star. My grandparents are wonderful. My husband is the most loving person on this earth. I will probably also do most of my posting about him. I tell him all the time I hit the lotto with him, he is simply amazing. He is my world. He is perfect.
Well now that I have introduced the most important components in my life I think that is enough for tonight. I will resume posting soon. I have LOTS of free time on my hands. Although as I said before that I doubt anyone will read my blogs, if you do and want to comment, reply, suggest topics, want to know anything else about any of my posts just let me know.
That's it for tonight
I am happily ever after
One thing that I will probably write about a lot will be the "joys" of nursing. It is a huge part of my life. It is also what I think people will find most interesting. I tell people that no one knows what it is to be a nurse until they are one. I also say that if someone had told me what it would be like I would have run the other way and never spent 4years of my life getting my bachelors degree in nursing. When I say happily ever after I am being 100% serious and 100% sarcastic. I love my life outside of work. I am completely happy. However as most nurses know there is no such thing as happiness in your job. You may think that sounds cynical but until you have been there...
In my spare time I try to help out the Mid America Boston Terrier Rescue. I am highly passionate about the breed and I need something to make me feel like I am helping out. You may think that I should get that from my nursing career but needless to say I do not. I am wild about my two little Bostons at home. Guinness and Stella are my little clowns. I am sure I will post several times about them as well.
I love my family. My parents are amazing. My sister is a rising star. My grandparents are wonderful. My husband is the most loving person on this earth. I will probably also do most of my posting about him. I tell him all the time I hit the lotto with him, he is simply amazing. He is my world. He is perfect.
Well now that I have introduced the most important components in my life I think that is enough for tonight. I will resume posting soon. I have LOTS of free time on my hands. Although as I said before that I doubt anyone will read my blogs, if you do and want to comment, reply, suggest topics, want to know anything else about any of my posts just let me know.
That's it for tonight
I am happily ever after
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